Foxhole Conversion

My own mortality has never been a great motivator for me. I'm in no hurry to die, but suggesting that I could possibly prolong my life with certain behavior, or shorten it through some other behavior Has rarely made me want to start something I am not otherwise inclined to do, or stop something that I enjoy.
Everything starts on Memorial day weekend, this Year. My family was at my parents' house, I was sitting in the living room, chatting, and my voice sounded funny to me. I was slurring and didn't sound like myself as far as I could tell. I asked the room for confirmation on this and got it. I started to look for symptoms at that point. I felt like I was drooling slightly, on the opposite side of where I was slurring from, and the right side of my face had some numbness to it. I looked in the mirror and the didn't seem to be any loss of function. I thought that these seemed like stroke indicators, but that didn't seem like a real possibility to me, and I didn't feel BAD, just a little strange. Later I tried to drive somewhere and it was like I had never sat in the driver's seat before. I couldn't get a feel for where the car was on the road, and quickly switched out and had my Dad drive. I don't recall anyone suggesting that I should maybe go to the hospital or anything, or really seeming alarmed at what was going on. My inaction is all on me, but the lack of alarm made it easy for me to lean toward 'food allergy' rather than 'stroke' as the source of my symptoms.
Here's some background relevant to the situation. was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes a few years ago, and up to Memorial day I had never done more than a half-assed job of even trying to manage it, often not taking my medicine for months, and rarely even trying to eat right.I have had issues with depression and anxiety my whole life, and the combination of those, when at their worst, makes it easy to fall off the self-care wagon. I also genuinely have memory, or perhaps just focus issues that let me forget to do certain things (Insulin Shots) even at my most diligent.
Many years ago I lost a lot of weight. I had decided that I didn't care at all about my weight, and would no longer try to do anything about it, and then the next day I started Atkins and lost 130 pounds over the next year. It was awesome except for several things:
1. All anyone ever did during that time was make me talk about losing weight, tell me how good I looked, how they could do it, etc.
2. People were noticeably friendlier to me than they were when I was my normal fat self
3. Atkins is a difficult trick to set up in your body, and once you get the balance down, it can be frustrating to try and maintain, as every carb you take in seems to magically transform into 5 pounds, no matter the source or how insignificant it seems.
4. People treating thinner me differently did not help anything at all, it made me angry and depressed, and disinterested in taking care of myself.
I lost weight for a year, then kept most of it off for a short time, then spent years working to gain it all back(and developed type II diabetes in the process). I blame only me for this, Obviously Atkins can work wonders, but I am pretty sure now that any program that advocates portioning and eating sensibly in combination with even light regular exercise can produce results. The side effect of rigorous Carb counting will generally be some degree of calorie control, and that is pretty much where the magic happens.

So I have my memorial day incident and don't go to a hospital. I was shaken up and uncertain enough to want to go to my primary care Doctor, so I started to fall back in line prior to that visit. I like my doctor a lot, but I am a terrible patient, and as I generally haven't followed her orders well or remembered to take medicine she prescribes, she has threatened to drop me in the past. She correctly realized that this tactic would work on me to some degree, but mostly it made me afraid of going to her office.
Starting right after my incident, I cut out most carbs from starches and sweets, and started taking my diabetes medicines as prescribed, again. I also started doing exercises with hand weights, and assumed I would start taking walks again, as that combination is my speed and produced results for me before. I did these things solely in anticipation of getting an appointment with my doctor weeks later. I wanted to be able to say, once again, 'Yes, I sure was a terrible patient, but look how good I am now', and have her forgive all my stupidity and welcome me back happily into the fold. Unfortunately, she knows my routine, and the A1c test will always show the reality of the situation, as it covers a much larger time span than that of my fair weather diligence.
She didn't chastise me, as this isn't personal to her, but she did let me know that although what I was doing was good, I would have to maintain it if it was to mean anything. My diabetes was not under control, and this could cause any number of difficulties for me if I didn't stay serious about it. She was concerned for my kidneys and also for my heart function, as she did an ekg and it showed some irregularity. Based on my symptoms, she continued with the assumption that I had a TIA or a stroke, or a 'brain event' of some sort over Memorial day. She gave me referrals for a Neurologist and a Cardiologist. Breaking from my form completely I actually scheduled both appointments and a follow up with her, but thanks to circumstances I only kept the Neurologist appointment.
My wife went with me to the neurologist appointment. She loves me and cares deeply about me, and the idea that I had a stroke was of real concern for her, as was the possibility of that not being the end of things. The neurologist was as sweet as could be, and did some tests and talked with me. The EEG showed no risidual from the event, but when she took my blood pressure it was 204 over 133, which prompted her to strongly suggest that I go straight across the street to the ER.
My wife is the primary advocate of my well-being. If you are in a relationship with someone that does not take on that role when needed, then god help you. I generally use her to determine what I should do in situations that require some inclination for selff -preservation, otherwise, my fear of inconvenience and the unknown will win out and I will often just ignore what I know I should do, in favor of letting whatever the issue is, just naturally go away.
My wife came out very strongly in support of my not fucking around with my health, and We went to the ER and told them my numbers, and my history.
They saw me immediately, and were glorious. One thing I have gotten out of all of this is that lady ER nurses are the new 'sexy nurse'. That is not meant as a slight in any way, and also shouldn't be taken as my actually sexualizing anyone during the times I was in the ER, but Smart, strong, funny, capable and caring are a pretty strong group of traits to have, and it's hard not to think of these women without a golden glow around them at this point. People who help others, and who take the fear out of scary processes are like super-heroes to me, and I encountered nearly a dozen of these types in the past week or two.
I was admitted to the hospital, and they had a bit of a hard time getting my bp down and keeping it there. I stayed for 6 days, and was on 5 different BP medicines before we got to a point consistent enough for me to leave. During this time, my wife was with me every day in the hospital, from mid morning to after 8pm. Her presence was invaluable to me. I could not get through this without her.
The morning after I was admitted, I passed out in a grand way, and my wife called 911. I did not appreciate this at the time, and my screaming that I was ok almost kept them from coming. Fortunately the got to our house quickly and convinced me that I should go to the ER with them. My great fear was that I would be admitted again. I went to the ER and they kept me off my meds and gave me fluids. I encountered a few more ER nurses that meet the description I wrote previously, and eventually I was released with some modifications to my meds. I still have a ways to go, as I don't think my body has found the right balance yet. Doing anything for more than a few minutes makes me tired, and I am still having fits of dizziness and near blackouts from time to time. I think that this has been enough of a shock to my system that I will continue to do what is best for myself. I know that the support and active encouragement I am getting from my family will go a long way toward making sure I do